Imani Counselling

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Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem for Women


Self esteem is an important issue that we all have to deal with at some point in our lives, but it can be an awkward issue for some us to handle effectively. It makes us examine how we feel about ourselves and, as we all know, there are times when we don’t feel confident about who we are. This is particularly true for women.

Self esteem is important for women because there are so many confusing messages that women constantly face. You are encouraged to be yourself, but you are also encouraged to fit in and be like everyone else. You are surrounded by advertising which bombards you 24/7 with images of beauty and success and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed trying to fit in. If you don’t have a strong sense of who you are, you can easily lose your sense of self-worth trying to please others. That is why it is so important to have healthy self-esteem because you need a sense of your own identity in order to be happy. You will never be happy trying to be someone else or trying to please others.

So, what is self esteem? Self esteem is how you feel about yourself. It is tied to self respect and self worth. If you have high self esteem, you feel good about yourself. A woman with high self-esteem is confident. She does her best in any situation. On the other hand, a woman with low self esteem feels terrible about herself and lacks confidence in her abilities.

We maintain our self esteem based on what we tell ourselves about who we are. What you say to yourself is crucial. If you tell yourself that you are not smart enough to do anything before you even try, then you are setting yourself up for failure. You have to see beyond what you may say, or do, and understand that your words and behaviour do not reflect your value as a human being. You are valuable no matter what you say or how you behave. You do not want your self esteem to be based on how others treat or value you, either. Self esteem is about self confidence and believing in yourself and your worth as a person.
If you are feeling less than 100% about yourself, how do you maintain your self esteem? The number one thing you have to do is to believe in yourself. You are unique; it’s important to remind yourself of this all the time and especially when you feel unsure about yourself.

You develop high self esteem by believing in yourself and accepting yourself unconditionally. Self esteem comes from acknowledging who you are and loving yourself. When you honour yourself and your feelings, it doesn’t matter what happens outside of you because you know that you can always rely on one person to support you – YOU!

To be happy with yourself, you have to change the way you think about yourself. Challenge and replace any negative thoughts with positive ones. Treat yourself as you would a friend who comes to you for support and encouragement. You wouldn’t deliberately be mean to your best friend, so why be mean to yourself?

Outside influences can be very persuasive; the books and magazines that you read, the YouTube channels you watch, and the music you listen to are just some of the things that can have an effect on your feelings so allow only the most positive influences into your life. Surround yourself with positive friends. Try not to compare yourself to others. There will always be someone who is smarter, has more money, more clothes, etc. than you, so why worry about it? Put your time and energy into being the best you that you can.
Believe in yourself and in what you can do. You are special and you don’t have to prove how special you are to anyone. You have more power and resources than you imagine and you can achieve anything that you set your mind to. Always remember that you are important, and that you have a unique and special contribution to make to the world.

Guest Writer - Jackie Claxton
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